"The Angry Man Closes His Eyes and Opens His Mouth"

Over the last two weeks of lessons, we have covered some principles of EQ and examined the different ways to resolve interpersonal conflict and smoothen communication between family members, friends and colleagues. I wished that I had learnt some of the skills just over a month ago in an actual conflict that I experienced.

My father had bought a new fridge for the New Year at Courts and to his delight, his purchase came with an additional free book of cash vouchers for his future shopping. All he had to do was to simply fill in his particulars at a redemption outlet and he would be able to receive the vouchers. However, due to overwhelming demand, the outlet ran out of vouchers and instead wrote him an IOU so that he would be able to collect the vouchers at a later date.

A week went past but there were no news from the redemption outlet. My father decided to send me on the unenviable task of going to the outlet to inquire on the status of the cash vouchers. While I was there, I explained my situation to a helpful lady at the information counter. She required some additional details to locate the IOU in their database but I realised that my father had not given me that information. I decided to call him over the phone to ask, but my father started to get angry and demanded to speak to the lady.

I had no idea what truly happened, but clearly the thought of providing additional information (when he was told all he had to do was collect the vouchers) struck a raw nerve and he spent the next five minutes yelling over the phone at the lady. Even though I was at a good three feet away from the counter, I could hear my father, incandescent with rage, screaming and complaining over the phone. The lady was growing increasing exasperated and repeatedly said she was trying to help but it fell onto deaf ears.

I was deeply embarrassed and I snatched the phone back from her. I wished to say I handled the situation in a calm and composed manner, but the truth was I lost it as well and started a whopping argument with my father. I couldn’t phantom why such a simple request for additional details could snowball into a needless fight. It ended with us slamming the phones on each other (or in my case, jabbing the “end call” button on my phone endlessly).

Much later, I tried to figure out why my father got so angry and what I could have done better. I guess that, like me, he was trying to get something that was supposedly simple done, but it had snowballed into a mess due to miscommunication. So my question to my fellow classmates is: what would you have done if you were in my place?

P.S On a rather separate note, it’s day one of the Chinese New Year on the due date of this blog post, so I wish all my friends a happy New Year and many great returns!