Over the
last two weeks of lessons, we have covered some principles of EQ and examined
the different ways to resolve interpersonal conflict and smoothen communication
between family members, friends and colleagues. I wished that I had learnt some
of the skills just over a month ago in an actual conflict that I experienced.
My father
had bought a new fridge for the New Year at Courts and to his delight, his
purchase came with an additional free book of cash vouchers for his future
shopping. All he had to do was to simply fill in his particulars at a redemption
outlet and he would be able to receive the vouchers. However, due to overwhelming
demand, the outlet ran out of vouchers and instead wrote him an IOU so that he
would be able to collect the vouchers at a later date.
A week went
past but there were no news from the redemption outlet. My father decided to
send me on the unenviable task of going to the outlet to inquire on the status
of the cash vouchers. While I was there, I explained my situation to a helpful
lady at the information counter. She required some additional details to locate
the IOU in their database but I realised that my father had not given me that
information. I decided to call him over the phone to ask, but my father started
to get angry and demanded to speak to the lady.
I had no
idea what truly happened, but clearly the thought of providing additional
information (when he was told all he had to do was collect the vouchers) struck
a raw nerve and he spent the next five minutes yelling over the phone at the
lady. Even though I was at a good three feet away from the counter, I could
hear my father, incandescent with rage, screaming and complaining over the
phone. The lady was growing increasing exasperated and repeatedly said she was
trying to help but it fell onto deaf ears.
I was
deeply embarrassed and I snatched the phone back from her. I wished to say I handled
the situation in a calm and composed manner, but the truth was I lost it as
well and started a whopping argument with my father. I couldn’t phantom why
such a simple request for additional details could snowball into a needless
fight. It ended with us slamming the phones on each other (or in my case,
jabbing the “end call” button on my phone endlessly).
Much later,
I tried to figure out why my father got so angry and what I could have done
better. I guess that, like me, he was trying to get something that was
supposedly simple done, but it had snowballed into a mess due to
miscommunication. So my question to my fellow classmates is: what would you
have done if you were in my place?
P.S On a
rather separate note, it’s day one of the Chinese New Year on the due date of
this blog post, so I wish all my friends a happy New Year and many great
returns!
